This weeks journaling was a little difficult, it brought back some memories, that I am trying not to remember.
3. If you could have changed one thing about yourself, what would it have been?
This is a thought provoking question. My dad was convinced that I was overweight (even though I wasn’t) while I was in high school. Because of this he watched everything I ate and I had to have a weekly weigh in with him. If I stayed the same or gained weight I was in trouble. Usually that meant being grounded and spanked. Because of this I was afraid to eat and would starve myself so that I could lose weight to keep from being in trouble. This self taught behavior has now led to the weight problem that I have. Once I was able to get away from home and my father’s disapproval, I started to eat all of the things that I was denied. Now I struggle with a weight problem. I know that I also do quite a bit of emotional eating also, and I think that stems from those years also. I was never good enough for my dad. I ate too much, I didn’t start on the sports team, he didn’t like my choice of friends (by the way none of them were in trouble, many came from our church) I didn’t lay out in the sun every summer getting burnt (actually I was forced to every summer.), I could go on, but you get the idea. Not sure what I would have changed, but maybe the way my Dad treated me.